Archive for April, 2008

Mom: "Keep up the dreams…"

I was telling my mom that I really want to go to the Olympics in Beijing this summer, but can’t really afford it. I could totally go blow a couple grand on a week of once-in-a-lifetime fun, but I could also wait 1 year and spend WAY less.

So she said “Keep up the dreams….one day it will happen!”

However, I’ve decided not to have dreams. It’s more like I have goals or a vision of how I’m going to live. I’m going to attack life, live it at its fullest, regret only the things I didn’t do, and find pleasure in every second of every day. I don’t need dreams if I’m actually living it. I’ll never get through my quest for pleasure, faith, and balance between the two if I don’t make full use of every experience available to me.

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*Smile*

I’ve been smiling since yesterday.  A real, genuine, happy smile.  Like this: =D  

Went with a friend to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall — probably one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a while… right up there with Superbad and Knocked Up.  I think I smiled through the whole movie.  If I wasn’t laughing hysterically, or staring at the screen in shock before erupting into giggles, I was definitely smiling at all other times.  So the movie was good.  Pleasurable.  But the company was definitely good, too.  Overall, entire package — movie+dinner+friendship=genuine pleasure. =D *Smile*
I’m also finding the more I take pleasure in the simple things in life, the closer I feel to peace and balance. I don’t go to church often enough, but feel like I’m finding that relationship again. He’s holding his hand out, I just need to take hold.  And I’m not scared of it.  Just like with my other relationships, its time to just follow my heart and let whatever happens, happen.

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Friendship Is…

I crave meaningful relationships.  I love sharing my life with others, and being a part of others’ lives.  I like asking questions and knowing about the test my friend has coming up, his up-coming birthday, or the hott date she went on last Friday.

No matter what Joe* says, inquiring about someone’s life is an important part of being a friend.  A good friend wants to know what you are up to, and cares about the things you have to say.  A good friend wants to share their latest news with you, just as much as they want to know your latest.  It’s not an interrogation; it’s this great thing called friendship.
Some people will expect your friendship, but give you nothing in return.  Some people will ask for your friendship, but not really want the love & concern that goes along with it.  Well, if you are one of those people, I don’t want you in my life.  If you are are just going to take, take, take — get the hell out.  If you are going to ask me to be your friend, but then not actually allow me to give you friendship — get the hell out.  You don’t deserve my friendship.  And the best thing is, you know you don’t deserve it, and it just totally gets your goat.
*Name changed to keep me from getting bitched at.

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The Way I Am

One day I’ll get to show what I feel…

If you were falling, then I would catch you. You need a light, I’d find a
match. Cuz I love the way you say good morning. And you take me the way I
am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater. Your head is aching, I’ll
make it better. Cuz I love the way you call me baby. And you take me the way
I am.

I’d buy you Rogaine if you start losing all your hair. Sew on
patches to all you tear. Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise. And
you take me the way I am.

“The Way I Am” by Ingrid Michaelson

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What’s the Difference?

Can someone tell me the difference between “being exclusive with” and “being committed to” another person?

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My Life Under a Microscope

this is a rundown of my evenings for the next few weeks… I’m already exhausted just looking at this…

  • Monday (4/7): Kristin & Shawn’s 10-yr Anniversary — dinner & whatever… turned into just “whatever”….blah.
  • Tuesday: Class / Pacers Game with Jason
  • Wednesday: Class / Group Project / then ??
  • Thursday: Flower Shopping & Invite Designing with Katie (and Nana!), Dinner @ the Pub???
  • Friday: Dinner with Murray in B-Ripple
  • Saturday (4/12): Pub Crawl @ Purdue with Bobby, Maggie, Jason, Kyle, Kelly, and Chris
  • Sunday: …???… Complete Group Project Presentation & Paper.
  • Monday (4/14): put together Alpha Phi Care Packages with Shelli & my Phis.
  • Tuesday: Class, then ???
  • Wednesday: Class (Group Project Presentation), then ???
  • Thursday (4/17): LUDA’s BIRFFDAY!!!!!!!!!!
  • Friday (4/18): Brett’s Birthday & HR Dept Volunteer Day
  • Saturday: FREE
  • Sunday: FREE
  • Monday: FREE
  • Tuesday (4/22): Class, then ???
  • Wednesday: FREE
  • Thursday: FREE
  • Friday (4/25): JA Bowl-a-thon
  • Saturday (4/26): Kara & Josh’s Housewarming Cookout
  • Sunday: FREE
  • Monday: FREE
  • Tuesday (4/29): Last Ops Strategy Class
  • Wednesday (4/30): Last Org Stewardship Class
  • Thurs(5/1) to Tues (5/6): San Pedro Town, Belize!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the odd thing is… when I have a few hours to myself, I’m almost immediately bored. What happened to the days of spending my entire evening (every evening) on the couch watching TV, cuddled with Bailey and surfin‘ the web (all at the same time LOL)?? I miss those days…

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Live Each Day Like It Is Your Last

I’ve had lots of conversations with friends and fam lately, about life and love. Out of every conversation has come some very insightful and intriguing ideas. I’m still struggling with “follow your heart” vs. “protect your heart”, and everyone always tells me to just follow my heart and do what feels right. Supposedly just doing what feels good in your heart with actually protect your heart in the long-run… We’ll just see about that.

But, seriously, I’m getting pretty certain about one thing: you can’t protect it and follow it at the same time. So I’ll just have to decide which tactic I’m going to take, and go with it. There are pro’s and con’s to both… like:

PRO: Following your heart will make you happy.
CON: There may be speed bumps along the way.
PRO: Protecting your heart will keep you from getting dumped or hurting another person.
CON: Protecting your heart will keep you from having any meaningful relationships, which means you’ll never find “the one”.

And so on. There are more pro’s and con’s, but I think you get the idea.

I’m leaning towards “follow your heart” because trying to be in control of my emotions has been very exhausting of the past few months. I think it’s just time to go with it, and let whatever happens, happen. Stephanie’s facebook profile has a good quote that I think will be my theme-quote for a while: “You must live each day as it is your last because you do not know what the future brings.” That’s important to me. I don’t want to withold love or friendship, and then wake up one day to realize that I’d missed my chance at a really awesome relationship. I don’t want to hold off on doing something (like traveling, taking a class, or that spur of the moment walk along the canal) in case I never have the chance to do it again.

Soooooo. I’m going to stop worrying about the “what if” and enjoy the “right now”. I’m going to take each day as it comes, do whatever I want, whenever I want, follow the things that feel good, and enjoy each second of each day. Like Kraig said, “It’s like Golf, you gotta play stroke by stroke.”

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