They always say hindsight is 20/20. I don’t know who “they” are, but I’ve heard the saying a time or two. I think we’ve all experienced just how true that is at one point or another. But the powerful thing about hindsight is also the hardest to hold onto – you have to actively learn from it, and actually use that knowledge to make the better decision next time around.
In my first serious relationship, I spent a lot of time telling people why I was with him. I’d tell people that I loved him. I say why he was “the one”. I did a lot of talking, I guess, and looking back, I think I felt like I had to do all this explaining because in reality he wasn’t “the one”. My friends and family couldn’t see the bond we shared. They didn’t see how much we loved each other, and didn’t see why we’d want to be together. Did they not see it because maybe it wasn’t there?
I think from now on I’m going to put a lot of stock into this. When friends and family can see something (like how I feel about someone) without me having to tell them about it, I’m going to take that as confirmation that I’m thinking, feeling, and doing the right thing.
I’m not going to base all of my actions on what other people see or believe, but I am going to actively try not to explain away my feelings and actions in order to force it into reality. Things need to develop at their own natural pace, and if it’s real, everyone will know it and support it whole-heartedly.