Archive for October, 2008

The Impossible

I was looking for the impossible…
To have my independence, yet share my dreams.
To stand on my own, yet have a strong hand to hold.

…and then I found you.

I’ve loved you from the first moment our eyes met.
In that split second my life made sense, my heart knew its match, and forever wasn’t enough.
With you… the impossible isn’t only possible, but a fact of life.

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It’s Just Me Whining… again.

There’s not really all that much going on in life, but I am so upset and stressed out all the time. I just don’t really know what to do about it. I hate complaining to others, and especially hate complaining on here, but sometimes I feel like it’s the only sounding board I really have.  I hate bogging others down with my problems when they have plenty of their own.

I’ve been really trying hard to “Live Above the Line” and get out of my stress & effort mentality, but I’m finding it difficult to do on my own.  I don’t know what things to try or think about in order to change my attitude.

I’ve been so overwhelmed this week that I cry at the drop of a hat.  Last night I had horrible nightmares that kept waking me up.  I was so upset that I was actually afraid to stay in my own place, so I got up and went into work hours earlier than normal.  I think trying to handle everything on my own is taking its toll.  I’m tired all the time, I have headaches constantly, I cry easily, and have no motivation to get anything done. :/  I need a pen pal or someone I don’t know to be my listening ear, so that I don’t feel guilty for worrying friends and family with my annoying personal life.  I’m definitely an independent person… but need to share my life with someone in order to survive, apparently.
There are times when I do feel completely relaxed, happy, and content.  When I was in college, I could picture life as a “grown up”.  I pictured going to work in the morning, coming home around 5:00 to start dinner, and then relaxing on the couch in front of the TV until bedtime.  That is seriously my ideal life.  I don’t know how to grasp ahold… without being entirely overwhelming and clingy to someone I really want to have in my life for the long-haul.  :/  Plus I have school to mess with… at least for a few more weeks.
Ok, sorry for the complaining.  I hope you haven’t actually read this far and wasted your time.

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In Memory

God gives us challenges and takes loved ones away because he wants us to know the meaning of each and every day we’re here.  Nothing should be taken for granted. Every moment is unique and should be treasured. Know that the challenges you face are opportunities to learn. Tell those around you how much you love them. Give others a helping hand.  Don’t blow out someone else’s light to let your own shine.

RIP Sean Rogero

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Wanted: Space, Fresh Air, a New Perspective

I hate it when people say “I need space.”  But I do.  I need some space.  I need some wide open fresh air, away from work and school… somewhere I can focus on being ME, loving my life, and appreciating all the great things life has to offer.  Somewhere I can practice patience and make time move slowly so that I can really enjoy the moment.  

I need space to gather understanding of everything going on around me.  To be honest, I don’t think that I’m looking at things from the wrong angle (I’m not saying I’m perfect…); I think that happenings and other people are really just off-kilter and I need someone to just fill me in on what’s going on.  I’m all down with clear, direct conversation. Letting it all out and living life openly is good therapy.  It’s good to just be.  And I need somewhere to just be.

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Patience

“Patience and time do more than strength or passion.”
—Jean de La Fontaine (1621-1695), author, fabulist

I’m the kind of person that works very hard to achieve everything I want in life. And like everyone else in my generation, I want immediate gratification for my hardwork. It’s hard to operate at a slow & steady pace, but I know it’s really important to do so. Life isn’t a race, but a journey, so I’m going to focus on taking things sloooooooow so that every experience is meaningful.

“Every experience is a stitch in the fabric of your character.”
—Gary Clausing; musician

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Fall…New England Style

I love Fall. Crisp, beautiful fall days complemented by gorgeous red, orange, and yellow fall leaves. AND pumpkins. And corn harvesting, drinking cider, dressing up for Halloween, eating gobbs of candy, haunted houses, candy corn, sitting out by the fire, football, and sweatshirt ‘n flip-flops weather.

Nothing beats a Midwest Fall. ….except maybe fall in New England. Massachusetts was BEAUTIFUL this week. Here’s some photos:

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Made it to Southboro!

I flew into Providence, RI tonight for a team development session I'm facilitating tomorrow. I think I have everything pulled together, so its time for bed. Sweet dreamz!!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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