There’s not really all that much going on in life, but I am so upset and stressed out all the time. I just don’t really know what to do about it. I hate complaining to others, and especially hate complaining on here, but sometimes I feel like it’s the only sounding board I really have. I hate bogging others down with my problems when they have plenty of their own.
It’s Just Me Whining… again.
I’ve been really trying hard to “Live Above the Line” and get out of my stress & effort mentality, but I’m finding it difficult to do on my own. I don’t know what things to try or think about in order to change my attitude.
I’ve been so overwhelmed this week that I cry at the drop of a hat. Last night I had horrible nightmares that kept waking me up. I was so upset that I was actually afraid to stay in my own place, so I got up and went into work hours earlier than normal. I think trying to handle everything on my own is taking its toll. I’m tired all the time, I have headaches constantly, I cry easily, and have no motivation to get anything done. I need a pen pal or someone I don’t know to be my listening ear, so that I don’t feel guilty for worrying friends and family with my annoying personal life. I’m definitely an independent person… but need to share my life with someone in order to survive, apparently.
There are times when I do feel completely relaxed, happy, and content. When I was in college, I could picture life as a “grown up”. I pictured going to work in the morning, coming home around 5:00 to start dinner, and then relaxing on the couch in front of the TV until bedtime. That is seriously my ideal life. I don’t know how to grasp ahold… without being entirely overwhelming and clingy to someone I really want to have in my life for the long-haul. Plus I have school to mess with… at least for a few more weeks.
Ok, sorry for the complaining. I hope you haven’t actually read this far and wasted your time.